Friday, February 18, 2011
iom really starting to miss my mom.
i havent told anyone. not even my closest friends know
my mom is in jail. shes an alcoholic. shell be in there for 4 mo. she left nov. 19
in winter break of 2008, she got in a car crash. she was DUI and tried to kill herself. she forgot about me and my sister. luckily she just had bruses...somehow. it was a miracle she was alive, she slammed into the concrete divider at 70mph. she lost her liscense and couldnt drive, but since we needed to get around, she drove anyway. she got in alot of trouble with the law. then in summer of 2010, she got in another accident, DUI motorcycle, nobody was hurt again. she had to go to rehab and she missed my birthday party. I love my mom and I miss her
i havent told anyone. not even my closest friends know
my mom is in jail. shes an alcoholic. shell be in there for 4 mo. she left nov. 19
in winter break of 2008, she got in a car crash. she was DUI and tried to kill herself. she forgot about me and my sister. luckily she just had bruses...somehow. it was a miracle she was alive, she slammed into the concrete divider at 70mph. she lost her liscense and couldnt drive, but since we needed to get around, she drove anyway. she got in alot of trouble with the law. then in summer of 2010, she got in another accident, DUI motorcycle, nobody was hurt again. she had to go to rehab and she missed my birthday party. I love my mom and I miss her
summer camp orafter school day care? idk
i go into the cafateria and tommy and jorge r at the table closest to the stage and christian and his friends are a few seats over. for
some reason, i need 2 talk to the person in charge (the cafateria is filled with people) and i look around and c tommy and scowl then i c
christian and hope tommy gets jealous so i go over to him and say
"hey whos in charge?"
"you are" smirking he says
"...what?"
"ya. u can make me do anything u wanna"
"hahaha thats actually pretty funny"
"ya thats not all ull like"
"hahahah seriously did u come up with that?"
comes up with another pick up line type thing
"can u like write these down fo rme? i want to show them to my friends"
we talk for a bit and hes really funny and his friends are chiming in and im also making them laugh so i sit down and continue to talk.
tommy cs this and comes over (jorge left). he brings a chair over and sits in it backwards and listens to wat were saying. i get bugged
by him coming over and say ok imma go BUT im coming back with a pen and paper for you to write those down for me. i glare at tommy and
leave. i come back with the pen and paper an dc tommy siting in my chair talking with the guys. i walk over. i put the supplies in front
of christian and bend forward to lean on the table with my back to tommy.
"Gaby sit down" tommy says
"why?"
"to chat :)'
i look at the rest of the table they shrug
"fine" and i sit in his old chair facing all of them
tommy looks at the guys and says "k imma ask questions and i want all of u to be totally hionest"
they all agree
"k close ur eyes"
"me too?" i ask
"doesnt matter"
i dont. he starts asking the questions
"k. how many of us are turned on by Gaby. Be honest; u all agreed"
i look around and all their hands are raised
"open ur eyes"
they do and get embarassed
"hahaha all of us" ;) (@ me)
"close ur eyes again"
"how many of us think she is pretty?"
tommyand one other guy
" .....beautiful?"
tommy and a different guy
"hot?"
tommy and another different guy
"sexy?"
tommy christian and almost all others
they r all open eyes now and looking at mee
"...huh...*biting my lip*..." i get stand up "thank you christian" and i take the paper and pen. i start to walk away but stop
and turn back to look at them. "really???" they all look away and kinda shrug but tommy smiles and christian winks. i laugh and continue
to leave.
then the above ensues
alternate ending to above from the second time hee kisses me:
hell turn my chair around and kiss me. he doesnt back to far away tho, only to look at me and i dont turn around either...
i go into the cafateria and tommy and jorge r at the table closest to the stage and christian and his friends are a few seats over. for
some reason, i need 2 talk to the person in charge (the cafateria is filled with people) and i look around and c tommy and scowl then i c
christian and hope tommy gets jealous so i go over to him and say
"hey whos in charge?"
"you are" smirking he says
"...what?"
"ya. u can make me do anything u wanna"
"hahaha thats actually pretty funny"
"ya thats not all ull like"
"hahahah seriously did u come up with that?"
comes up with another pick up line type thing
"can u like write these down fo rme? i want to show them to my friends"
we talk for a bit and hes really funny and his friends are chiming in and im also making them laugh so i sit down and continue to talk.
tommy cs this and comes over (jorge left). he brings a chair over and sits in it backwards and listens to wat were saying. i get bugged
by him coming over and say ok imma go BUT im coming back with a pen and paper for you to write those down for me. i glare at tommy and
leave. i come back with the pen and paper an dc tommy siting in my chair talking with the guys. i walk over. i put the supplies in front
of christian and bend forward to lean on the table with my back to tommy.
"Gaby sit down" tommy says
"why?"
"to chat :)'
i look at the rest of the table they shrug
"fine" and i sit in his old chair facing all of them
tommy looks at the guys and says "k imma ask questions and i want all of u to be totally hionest"
they all agree
"k close ur eyes"
"me too?" i ask
"doesnt matter"
i dont. he starts asking the questions
"k. how many of us are turned on by Gaby. Be honest; u all agreed"
i look around and all their hands are raised
"open ur eyes"
they do and get embarassed
"hahaha all of us" ;) (@ me)
"close ur eyes again"
"how many of us think she is pretty?"
tommyand one other guy
" .....beautiful?"
tommy and a different guy
"hot?"
tommy and another different guy
"sexy?"
tommy christian and almost all others
they r all open eyes now and looking at mee
"...huh...*biting my lip*..." i get stand up "thank you christian" and i take the paper and pen. i start to walk away but stop
and turn back to look at them. "really???" they all look away and kinda shrug but tommy smiles and christian winks. i laugh and continue
to leave.
then the above ensues
alternate ending to above from the second time hee kisses me:
hell turn my chair around and kiss me. he doesnt back to far away tho, only to look at me and i dont turn around either...
sometimes his hair is curly sometimes its not
i still think hes pretty but he still bugs me and he acts like diego. i do wanna hit him. i dont like him. i hope hes at the summer camp
and he starts to like me again. i came up with a new senario today
it was after school on friday and tommy had stayed cuz his mom (his mom is the office lady)couldnt take him home so he was wondering around then she told him to
"go into mr. diaz's office and talk to Gaby. shes nice. and she seems better than that girl you have now"
"mom 'so and so' is nice and pretty."
"but shes rude to you and me. i dont like her chico. just talk to mr. diazs daughter."
hell pretend to be reluctant but actually want to. hell come in and say hey
ill look at him and say "wat do you want?"
"nothing just here to talk"
"i have nothing to say. do you?"
hell shrug
"great. leave."
'haha wat? why?"
"you irk me. leave PLEASE."
"no i dont want to. :) that makes me wanna stay more."
"my mistake" then ill turn around to ignore him
"y do i bug u?"
'because u remind me of some1"
"who?"
"doesnt matter. he bugs me. you bug me. leave."
"no. wats his name?"
"diego. now go."
"no tell me about diego."
"u have no idea how badly ii want to hit you."
"wathah?"
"i want to slap u in the face."
"y?"
"because u remind me off him! wow ur slow"
"i like to bug u :)"
"goody 4 me"
"u r really hot"
"thanks creep. leave"
"idk y but that turns me on."
"ewwww. ur disgusting leave"
"ur not helping."
"ur seriously grossing me out. change the topic please"
"so i can stay?"
"if u dont say that again"
"wat that u turn me on?"
"leave."
"sorry! haha so who u txting."
"my friend"
he looks over my shoulder and sees james name
"u have a guy friend?"
"ya so?"
"has it ever been anything?"
"no. he wanted it to be but he got over it."
"oh" he contiues to look over my shoulder and c me typing (in responce to 'watcha doing now?') talking to Tommy and hes annoying the hell
outta me. he laughs and says really?
"really wat?"
"im annoying u that much?"
"yes i still really want to hit u."
'go a head."
"no i cant "
hell shrug then look me over. head to toe, toe to head and smile
"u no i meant wat i said"
"wat did u say."
"that ur beautiful"
"u used a different word but ok. dont u have a girlfriend or something to go to?"
"not anymore"
"broke up so quickly?"
"wen isaw u'
ill stop and get out of my cold composure and look at him but snap back into it as he starts talking again
"beautiful, hot, sexy,pretty...any of those words could describe you"
i turn away so he dont c me incase i blush.
'guess wat" hell say
"i dont care?"
"good guess but no. close ur eyes."
"no thank you"
"cummon!"
"y"
"just cuz. do it."
"fine."and i will. not sure wat hes about to do, ill hesitate. ill close my eyes as hes smiling at me. and hell lean forward and kiss me.
long and he wont pull away. i wont either at first but then realize wats happening and push him away.
ill look at him sad and just say "leave"
"seriously?"
"ur to much like diego. i hate him and i want to hit you. leave before i do."
"i dont think u will"
"just go away"
"no. give me ur number."
ill stare and say, after thinking for a while, 'fine"
hell get really happy and ask for a marker
ill pick one up then right 4803697644 on a sticky note and give it to him and i wont smile.
"happy?" ill inquire as i had it ovewr
'very"
hell lean forward to kiss me again but ill back away. hell raise his eyebrows and smirk then leave. ill exhale loudly then turn away.
a with my back to the door hell creep in and turn the chair around and kiss me again then say in a singsongy voice "still u know wa--at"
ill chuckle and roll my eyes but b very happy and continue txting james
this one i no is never going to happen. i wish it would though. idc. its not gonna.
i still think hes pretty but he still bugs me and he acts like diego. i do wanna hit him. i dont like him. i hope hes at the summer camp
and he starts to like me again. i came up with a new senario today
it was after school on friday and tommy had stayed cuz his mom (his mom is the office lady)couldnt take him home so he was wondering around then she told him to
"go into mr. diaz's office and talk to Gaby. shes nice. and she seems better than that girl you have now"
"mom 'so and so' is nice and pretty."
"but shes rude to you and me. i dont like her chico. just talk to mr. diazs daughter."
hell pretend to be reluctant but actually want to. hell come in and say hey
ill look at him and say "wat do you want?"
"nothing just here to talk"
"i have nothing to say. do you?"
hell shrug
"great. leave."
'haha wat? why?"
"you irk me. leave PLEASE."
"no i dont want to. :) that makes me wanna stay more."
"my mistake" then ill turn around to ignore him
"y do i bug u?"
'because u remind me of some1"
"who?"
"doesnt matter. he bugs me. you bug me. leave."
"no. wats his name?"
"diego. now go."
"no tell me about diego."
"u have no idea how badly ii want to hit you."
"wathah?"
"i want to slap u in the face."
"y?"
"because u remind me off him! wow ur slow"
"i like to bug u :)"
"goody 4 me"
"u r really hot"
"thanks creep. leave"
"idk y but that turns me on."
"ewwww. ur disgusting leave"
"ur not helping."
"ur seriously grossing me out. change the topic please"
"so i can stay?"
"if u dont say that again"
"wat that u turn me on?"
"leave."
"sorry! haha so who u txting."
"my friend"
he looks over my shoulder and sees james name
"u have a guy friend?"
"ya so?"
"has it ever been anything?"
"no. he wanted it to be but he got over it."
"oh" he contiues to look over my shoulder and c me typing (in responce to 'watcha doing now?') talking to Tommy and hes annoying the hell
outta me. he laughs and says really?
"really wat?"
"im annoying u that much?"
"yes i still really want to hit u."
'go a head."
"no i cant "
hell shrug then look me over. head to toe, toe to head and smile
"u no i meant wat i said"
"wat did u say."
"that ur beautiful"
"u used a different word but ok. dont u have a girlfriend or something to go to?"
"not anymore"
"broke up so quickly?"
"wen isaw u'
ill stop and get out of my cold composure and look at him but snap back into it as he starts talking again
"beautiful, hot, sexy,pretty...any of those words could describe you"
i turn away so he dont c me incase i blush.
'guess wat" hell say
"i dont care?"
"good guess but no. close ur eyes."
"no thank you"
"cummon!"
"y"
"just cuz. do it."
"fine."and i will. not sure wat hes about to do, ill hesitate. ill close my eyes as hes smiling at me. and hell lean forward and kiss me.
long and he wont pull away. i wont either at first but then realize wats happening and push him away.
ill look at him sad and just say "leave"
"seriously?"
"ur to much like diego. i hate him and i want to hit you. leave before i do."
"i dont think u will"
"just go away"
"no. give me ur number."
ill stare and say, after thinking for a while, 'fine"
hell get really happy and ask for a marker
ill pick one up then right 4803697644 on a sticky note and give it to him and i wont smile.
"happy?" ill inquire as i had it ovewr
'very"
hell lean forward to kiss me again but ill back away. hell raise his eyebrows and smirk then leave. ill exhale loudly then turn away.
a with my back to the door hell creep in and turn the chair around and kiss me again then say in a singsongy voice "still u know wa--at"
ill chuckle and roll my eyes but b very happy and continue txting james
this one i no is never going to happen. i wish it would though. idc. its not gonna.
went 2 my dads skool 2day instead of mine (it was a half day. why bother going?). it weas fun...and so uh...tommy has a girlfreind....
disappointment has a name
bbut its not elizabeth. i think he settled. i hope. he saw me but idk if he recognized me. he mustve cuz its easy 2 tell i am mr. allias' daughter.
im disappointed in my choices. i couldve gone 2 morning announcements and c tommy speak (stuco pres) but i chose not 2 >:( i coulve gone 2 sit through iall my dads classes. i didnt >:(
but i was able 2 deliver a paper 2 the teacher teaching the 7th graders and wen i walked in christian said hi gaby and everyone started
talking and then one of them whistled. it made me feel good. i laughed cuz i knew they were joking but i wished they werent.
i want to hit tommmy
christian is nice and kinda cute. i dont like him though.
tommy acts like diego. that irks me. i want to hit them both. mad. not going 2 do anything with katie or james' party. i have a boring weekend ahead of me :(
hehe that kid whistled :)....
so tommy didnt react to me.....i gotta get over it
im working at the summer camp again. he better be there and this time itll b him thatll get hurt >:))) hehehehehhe not really. that
would b mean. i wont do that.
tommy isnt that pretty. :) yay. and his hairs not that curly..i was dislusional this summer
katie is just as pretty as i am and i regret saying shes not.
disappointment has a name
bbut its not elizabeth. i think he settled. i hope. he saw me but idk if he recognized me. he mustve cuz its easy 2 tell i am mr. allias' daughter.
im disappointed in my choices. i couldve gone 2 morning announcements and c tommy speak (stuco pres) but i chose not 2 >:( i coulve gone 2 sit through iall my dads classes. i didnt >:(
but i was able 2 deliver a paper 2 the teacher teaching the 7th graders and wen i walked in christian said hi gaby and everyone started
talking and then one of them whistled. it made me feel good. i laughed cuz i knew they were joking but i wished they werent.
i want to hit tommmy
christian is nice and kinda cute. i dont like him though.
tommy acts like diego. that irks me. i want to hit them both. mad. not going 2 do anything with katie or james' party. i have a boring weekend ahead of me :(
hehe that kid whistled :)....
so tommy didnt react to me.....i gotta get over it
im working at the summer camp again. he better be there and this time itll b him thatll get hurt >:))) hehehehehhe not really. that
would b mean. i wont do that.
tommy isnt that pretty. :) yay. and his hairs not that curly..i was dislusional this summer
katie is just as pretty as i am and i regret saying shes not.
done with him...went 2 my dads school saturday 2 do service hrs and didnt c him. im sad. i seriously dont like him anymore but i want to...selfish? i
really dont like anyone. wat do i write abouit now?
diego likes ana. im glad i can talk 2 him like an actual friend. its so different hearing him talk...the only way i c this side of him is cuz of katie.
shes my dor 2 everything >:(. im not a person without her. i need 2 fix that
Tommys way shorter than i thought he was. HES SHORTER THAN DIEGO. i mean come on
i so sad were not doing the end of the year thing :(( i loved that :(( they guys won the cyaa championship. i was there. oh yea.
really dont like anyone. wat do i write abouit now?
diego likes ana. im glad i can talk 2 him like an actual friend. its so different hearing him talk...the only way i c this side of him is cuz of katie.
shes my dor 2 everything >:(. im not a person without her. i need 2 fix that
Tommys way shorter than i thought he was. HES SHORTER THAN DIEGO. i mean come on
i so sad were not doing the end of the year thing :(( i loved that :(( they guys won the cyaa championship. i was there. oh yea.
not obsessed. idc. i went 2 the guys' bvasketball game. they played my dads school and i saw tommy. i think he saw me but idk he didnt make a big deal of it. just saw me, stared then went back to playing and i dont think he ever looked again. poo on u. idc. i didnt get excited i just said o sh*t in my mind. i watched him alot. he wasnt that good. :/ dissapointed. diego did goood. i dont like anyone now. james invited me and katie to a party @ his house on superbowl sunday. ill go if she goes. james looks lame and funny when he does the brohug thing. its funny
happy birthday SCott!
tommy does cuss..AND HE LOOKS LIKE ANOTHY!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! so not cool! why couldnt tommy look the way he does and anthony look badder??? anyhoo, its ok...yup dont like diego! yay! and james wasnt mad @ me :) but he still doesnt txt me as much as he used to...maybe he really doesnt like me anymore. that makes me sad. o well. this computer is like that psychiatrist i wanted 2 talk to...AND i can look back on my old and current problems. it works. i still want someone to call me pretty...i remember wen james first told me he thought i was :). i couldnt stop smioling and i saved that text as long as i could. i want him to say it again. it made me feel good wenever i read it. maybe thats the only reason i like anyone; cuz i want some1 2 tink i es pwetty. i no i am, but im just that stuck up that i want some1 2 tell me. thats really wat every girl wants. every1 says he likes me but i dont think so io mean hes actually starting to like his girlfriends and not txt me as much and he wouldnt lie if i asked him. i imagine being with tommy alot. but im starting to be nuetral now. like idc if he likes me or not, lyk i still want him 2 but its not that important. ill b like that till i c him on fb again. i like him most we io look at his pictre. idlike it wen he cusses. which he does. a fair anount of the time. imma read my past entries now. done. ya, maybe tommy is outta my league, ilost but i 4got bout elizabeth .>:( not cooel. ya i dontthink he likes me
now imma look @ tommy on facebook. how sad. ilost ill come back and ill like him again.
wow, impressed, i still like him but im not gushing! ha take that!!whoever...should...take it...idk.i lost but yup, strill like em. proud
of myself :P
tommy does cuss..AND HE LOOKS LIKE ANOTHY!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! so not cool! why couldnt tommy look the way he does and anthony look badder??? anyhoo, its ok...yup dont like diego! yay! and james wasnt mad @ me :) but he still doesnt txt me as much as he used to...maybe he really doesnt like me anymore. that makes me sad. o well. this computer is like that psychiatrist i wanted 2 talk to...AND i can look back on my old and current problems. it works. i still want someone to call me pretty...i remember wen james first told me he thought i was :). i couldnt stop smioling and i saved that text as long as i could. i want him to say it again. it made me feel good wenever i read it. maybe thats the only reason i like anyone; cuz i want some1 2 tink i es pwetty. i no i am, but im just that stuck up that i want some1 2 tell me. thats really wat every girl wants. every1 says he likes me but i dont think so io mean hes actually starting to like his girlfriends and not txt me as much and he wouldnt lie if i asked him. i imagine being with tommy alot. but im starting to be nuetral now. like idc if he likes me or not, lyk i still want him 2 but its not that important. ill b like that till i c him on fb again. i like him most we io look at his pictre. idlike it wen he cusses. which he does. a fair anount of the time. imma read my past entries now. done. ya, maybe tommy is outta my league, ilost but i 4got bout elizabeth .>:( not cooel. ya i dontthink he likes me
now imma look @ tommy on facebook. how sad. ilost ill come back and ill like him again.
wow, impressed, i still like him but im not gushing! ha take that!!whoever...should...take it...idk.i lost but yup, strill like em. proud
of myself :P
i guess
tommy doesnt cuss THAT much.
HAHA! TAKE THAT DIEGO! SUCK IT! not only did HE start the convefrsation on facebook, but i ended it by LOGGING OFF. wat now?????
made me happy. ok...ok...im good
*sigh* Tommy ok watev
i think i made james mad. i feel bad now. i told him ppl think all his girlfriends r not modist girls. o well
tommy doesnt cuss THAT much.
HAHA! TAKE THAT DIEGO! SUCK IT! not only did HE start the convefrsation on facebook, but i ended it by LOGGING OFF. wat now?????
made me happy. ok...ok...im good
*sigh* Tommy ok watev
i think i made james mad. i feel bad now. i told him ppl think all his girlfriends r not modist girls. o well
i learned i cant play pretend with actual dolls or figures. i just imagine it in my head.
ive been falling
in and out
of love
with you
i never
loved someone
way that i
love you. not really. thats how i like any1. in and out, i find reasons to not like the ppl...especially if they dont like me back. so takr that world! :( i want tommy to be my boyfriend. i hope he stays sweet. he looks so good. i like him. its no back and forth i just like him. and i want him to like me as much or a little more than i do now. and i hope he thinks of me as much as i think of him. *sigh*. i want him. how sad it is to fall for some1. u feel really pathetic. is this how james felt? i lost.i could never like james. not to be mean, i just cant. hes my best dude friend and evn though he hangs out with a lot of girls friends and ones he thinks are hot, hes my best df. <3 but never more than a friend. haha tommmy is pretty.
haha. how sad
its disgusting how i love you, i hate it,i could kill u
i just wanna touch ur face, its disgusting.
its disgusting, how u changed me from a bamdit to a baby
why tommy? hahha y do i want u?
ive been falling
in and out
of love
with you
i never
loved someone
way that i
love you. not really. thats how i like any1. in and out, i find reasons to not like the ppl...especially if they dont like me back. so takr that world! :( i want tommy to be my boyfriend. i hope he stays sweet. he looks so good. i like him. its no back and forth i just like him. and i want him to like me as much or a little more than i do now. and i hope he thinks of me as much as i think of him. *sigh*. i want him. how sad it is to fall for some1. u feel really pathetic. is this how james felt? i lost.i could never like james. not to be mean, i just cant. hes my best dude friend and evn though he hangs out with a lot of girls friends and ones he thinks are hot, hes my best df. <3 but never more than a friend. haha tommmy is pretty.
haha. how sad
its disgusting how i love you, i hate it,i could kill u
i just wanna touch ur face, its disgusting.
its disgusting, how u changed me from a bamdit to a baby
why tommy? hahha y do i want u?
happy birthday mommy
why is he so dang pretty??????????????
darn him. i really want him 2 b my boyfriend. :( i want2 b able 2 txt him wenevr and not feel obsessive and i want to sit on a couch with
him, lie against his shoulder and let him put his arm around me and we can just sit there together watching a movie or something and just
be laughing and laughing and talking and he would b happy that he chose me...over. elizabeth....i dont want to be selfish. i dont want to
get into this again. i just want him to friend me on fb and let it grow from there. plz. plz? tommy...:(((((
why is he so dang pretty??????????????
darn him. i really want him 2 b my boyfriend. :( i want2 b able 2 txt him wenevr and not feel obsessive and i want to sit on a couch with
him, lie against his shoulder and let him put his arm around me and we can just sit there together watching a movie or something and just
be laughing and laughing and talking and he would b happy that he chose me...over. elizabeth....i dont want to be selfish. i dont want to
get into this again. i just want him to friend me on fb and let it grow from there. plz. plz? tommy...:(((((
happy birthday julia. RIP
i hate this. i think im falling for Tommy. maybe he was lying about liking me so i would stop bugging him. i want to see him and see his reaction. i want him as my boyfriend and i want him to put his arm around me. :( i want TOMMY to like me. not elizabeth :(((((( Ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. why to you have to do this?
i hate this. i think im falling for Tommy. maybe he was lying about liking me so i would stop bugging him. i want to see him and see his reaction. i want him as my boyfriend and i want him to put his arm around me. :( i want TOMMY to like me. not elizabeth :(((((( Ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. why to you have to do this?
I found tommy on facebook and through the Naomi Reynolds account, i asked him if he liked me, or if he does.Tommy doesnt like me. Straight from the horses mouth. Damn damn damn damn dman. I hate this. I feel sick. he said he did like me but because i reminded him of one of his friends named Elizabeth. I just feel so sick. he liked me because i looked like this friend and i act like her. I cant believe this. i feel so sick :((((( I dont want to see him anymore. and now i have no one that likes me and i dont feel right. I dont feel good. he liked me because i reminded him of someone. THAT HE DOESNT KNOW THAT WELL. yet he'll choose her over me. come on Tommy. damn damn damn. ifeel so sick, i feel so sick, i feel so sick, i feel SO. SICK. he liked me because i reminded him of someone. DAMN. IT. i dont want to see him. i want him to want me. i want to cry. I do want to see him. but idont want him to "lyk" "this gurl named elizabeth". crap. im so sad. i feel sick. i want him to like me so. badly. i do. i could cry. i hope he changes his mind. James was right. how the hell was he right. :'(((((((( i really am going to cry. i feel so sick. dMN Dmn damn damn damn dman damn damn damn damkn damnd= damn damn damn it!!! if im so much like this elizabeth, why does he like her and not me? so not happy.
i dont want to go out with James. at all . hes my best dude friend. im neutral towards diego. I really dont care anymore. Im just sick of him.and done. Ill laugh with him but i wont like him like that. crap. he just said ok, i do like her okay? o my effing G. i am so confused. ugh :( at least he said he liked me...? right?
i dont want to go out with James. at all . hes my best dude friend. im neutral towards diego. I really dont care anymore. Im just sick of him.and done. Ill laugh with him but i wont like him like that. crap. he just said ok, i do like her okay? o my effing G. i am so confused. ugh :( at least he said he liked me...? right?
I want to talk to a psychiatrist, or someone that can tell me about these guys. I think I like Tommy, I mean like, he is so funny and hot, too. he seemed to like me too wich is also definatley a plus...but when i dont see him and I go to my Dad's school, I'm not disappointed. BUT when last night Noah texted me and he was with his friend tommy Stetka got SO EXCITED because i thought it was the TOmmy rfom my Dad's school...and that feeling I had when I learned it wasnt him?*sigh* i dont know. I =m really mad at Diego because he so obviously likes katie and he doesnt like me but i dont know why.We like the same things, we get along, and i thought we both thought each other was good looking. and not trying to be mean, but i think i look better than katie. I love her to death adn i cant blame her though. i blame myself. I sent a text blaming brenna just to see his reaction, but i shouldve known better. if you say you like him or ask him if he likes somebody he freaks out and stays distant from them or u. but before i sent that he liked me! i swear he did. Im such an idiot.
i really want tommy as a boyfriend because i think i like him and so that i can make diego jealous. i want him to be mad SO BADLY! :( And then theres james. my best dude friend in the entire world. i tel him almost anything/everything. i dont know
if he likes me but i dont like him. i think were just close and people take that as likeing each other. but we dont. I love him to death as my best dude friend and i feel bad because he used to like me so much. he always asked if i liked him and
if i thoguht he was hot and even when he had like 3 of his girlfriends he kinda liked me. i miss that. :) he would always text me after school saying hey beautiful or hey sexy...i didnt like "sexy' but it still made me feel good. i really miss
him saying those things...or maybe i just want someone, anyone to tell me that im beautiful. i still dont know. but i want to see tommy. heres how we met(tommy):
during the summer i went (involuntarily) to my dads school to help out with a summer camp they had. i mainly just designed posters for their guidance counciler and was ignored by the other kids (which i didn't mind). anyway, on the last day, they were going to have a water party and i was going to help them out. i didnt want to get wet but i would still help them out. So the last day came and as i was working on one of the last posters when i looked up because everyone shouted 'TOMMY!" (and i hadnt met him at this point) and i looked up and saw a boy that i thought was maybe 14. tall, mexican beyond curly dark brown/black hair. he greeted them all with a huge smile and HEY!. the first thing in my mind was "damn he's hot." but thinking there was no hope for us, i turned back to my work. but before i did, im not sure, but i think i saw him look at me and stop. he had the samae look i did. surprise and wow. anyhow, i looked back to my poster. but i found constantly lookiing up at him just to see his face. sometimes he was looking in my direction, but i dont think he ever really look AT me. anyhow, whenever Ms. geri (the guidance councilor)called 'tommy" i looked up. if she sent him somewhere, i wanted to go too. just to talk with him, just so he could see me, that way he could decide if he wanted to
like me ir not. but she didnt. halfway threw the day, the group of kids and tommy went outside for a water balloon fight/to play basketball. on their way out, they passed by me and all the gguys were laughing with him the girls looking adoringly
at him and saying tommy! pretending like they had something important to say. brofre they left though, tommy stoped to look @ some of the posters i had made and so did every other kid. one of his friends, kevin said"look at her letters tommy. arent they cool?" "look she can draw flames better than you!" at which both he shrugged. he was to fixed on the poster closest to me. one with pictures of the children of the camp from before. he was commenting on what happened that day the pictures were taken and who hew liked and didnt. i didnt pay much attention because if i did, it would have been so overly obvious that i was looking just to see him. but i did look to see him point at one girl and say "she bugged the crap out of me".
after that was lunch. I went into the office to eat with my sister and then came back with my dad (their teacher) to show him off because i thought everyone in the class liked him. i thought it would give tommy some excuse to tlak to me. bt he
didnt react. everyone else did though. they all shouted "mr diaz" and ya. AFTER THAT was the water party. I was in my big pajama shirt and board shorts and flip flops. i didnt actually get wet though. that was the ultimate door to conversation
between us. i was working the hose there for sitting down next to the faucet. tommy sat on the bech directly in front of me. he didnt say anytihng at first. the he turned to me "hey gaby, how cum' u dont want to get wet?" "i just dont" i
replied even though i was thinking in my head that it was because i look ugly when im wet. he then told me that that wasnt much of an answer. i smiled and kind of laughed and so did he. we paused looking at each other for a moment then he got up
and walked toward me. stuck out his hand and said 'im tommy by the way". my mind raced for something to say. i no? id tell u my name but you obviously already no it? it took to long for me to think of anything so i didnt say anything at all. i
just smirked and looked at him in his dark brown eyes. his hand was cold and wet from helping set up the slip n' slide. from then on he ran down the slip n' slide and flashed me a look as he got to the end to see if i was watching. i always
was. he had gotten a bucket filled with water and was walking past me;. he had already made it clear that he was going to try and get me wet.as he was passing me, he stopped and so did his friends behind him, confused. he looked at me with
a huge smile and said "what would u do if i poured this on you?" i just smiled and looked at him with a like you wouldnt type look. i didnt say anything for a while. but we were just looking at each other. i hadnt noticed that it was that long
a pause. he asked again and i said i wasnt entirely sure wat id do. the whole while i was imagining hm pour it on me. i would spring up in my mind chase him down the school the two of us laughing the whole while. then i would tackle him in
the grass and land on top of him roll him over and sit on his stomach witha big smile on my face and him cracking up and id bend down real close to his face and say that's wat id do. i also imagined me saying let's see. but i didnt. i just told
him i dont know wat id do. we both had stupidly huge smiles on our faces when he said "i dont know for some reason im really scared to. i dont know wat she'd do :)" that surprised me because the w=boys at my school were automatically
scared of me too. i thought i t was cool. later he got some ice and was eating it was sat next to me and this little girl...alyssa? i think? and put ice down her shirt. she started laughing and so did we. he then tried to put it down mine, but i wouldnt let him. again, the whole time we had weirdly big smiles on our faces...or maybe just me...
anyway after that we had sundaes and he was talking to his friends telling them all these electronics he had and it seemed as though he tried to say it right when i was in hearing range. he also tried really hard to make me laugh with his friend
Jorge by singing the cucarache. it worked. he then got really close to me and was saying something. i dont remember wat. i noticed he kindof had a little mustache wich i thought was funny because apparently mexican dudes get mustaches early on.
he then asked if i was twelve and at the time i was so i said yes and he said alright! and hi fived me so i took it as he was 12 too.
after that we walked to the feild on the other side of the school. i delibratley walked slow to see if i could walk with tommy. i heard one of the other little girls say tommy! tommy! tommy! (he was ignoring her) will you give me a piggy back
ride? he said no after like 5 times. i noticed he was really rude to other people except his friends, me and adults. he then walked next to me and started asking about my dad. he called him a bad word. apparently not everyone likes my dad like
i thought. then it was after and i was waiting in my dads office and he was doing things for ms geri so he kept coming in and he would talk to me and make me laugh and one time he tried to scare me. it didnt work but he kept saying "youwanna
laughyouwannalaughyouwannalaughyouwannalaughyouwannalaugh..." and eventually i did he siad yes and ran out. he was so close to me. so close. i wanted to kiss him. but no matter how sure i was that he liked me i couldnt. it would be to weird. so i didnt.
later james asked if i liked anyone and i told him tommmy. when he said why, itold him because he was sweet (to me, i thpought), funny and honestly, hot. he got mad that i calle dsomeone hot because i never called him that. he asked me if he would ever here me say that a again and i sent back haha prob not sorry.
I think i like tommy, and i really hope he likes me. i want him to ask me out so badly. James still constantly asks me if ive had my first kiss yet. he thinks anyone 13yrs old needs to have kissed someone already.
i really want tommy as a boyfriend because i think i like him and so that i can make diego jealous. i want him to be mad SO BADLY! :( And then theres james. my best dude friend in the entire world. i tel him almost anything/everything. i dont know
if he likes me but i dont like him. i think were just close and people take that as likeing each other. but we dont. I love him to death as my best dude friend and i feel bad because he used to like me so much. he always asked if i liked him and
if i thoguht he was hot and even when he had like 3 of his girlfriends he kinda liked me. i miss that. :) he would always text me after school saying hey beautiful or hey sexy...i didnt like "sexy' but it still made me feel good. i really miss
him saying those things...or maybe i just want someone, anyone to tell me that im beautiful. i still dont know. but i want to see tommy. heres how we met(tommy):
during the summer i went (involuntarily) to my dads school to help out with a summer camp they had. i mainly just designed posters for their guidance counciler and was ignored by the other kids (which i didn't mind). anyway, on the last day, they were going to have a water party and i was going to help them out. i didnt want to get wet but i would still help them out. So the last day came and as i was working on one of the last posters when i looked up because everyone shouted 'TOMMY!" (and i hadnt met him at this point) and i looked up and saw a boy that i thought was maybe 14. tall, mexican beyond curly dark brown/black hair. he greeted them all with a huge smile and HEY!. the first thing in my mind was "damn he's hot." but thinking there was no hope for us, i turned back to my work. but before i did, im not sure, but i think i saw him look at me and stop. he had the samae look i did. surprise and wow. anyhow, i looked back to my poster. but i found constantly lookiing up at him just to see his face. sometimes he was looking in my direction, but i dont think he ever really look AT me. anyhow, whenever Ms. geri (the guidance councilor)called 'tommy" i looked up. if she sent him somewhere, i wanted to go too. just to talk with him, just so he could see me, that way he could decide if he wanted to
like me ir not. but she didnt. halfway threw the day, the group of kids and tommy went outside for a water balloon fight/to play basketball. on their way out, they passed by me and all the gguys were laughing with him the girls looking adoringly
at him and saying tommy! pretending like they had something important to say. brofre they left though, tommy stoped to look @ some of the posters i had made and so did every other kid. one of his friends, kevin said"look at her letters tommy. arent they cool?" "look she can draw flames better than you!" at which both he shrugged. he was to fixed on the poster closest to me. one with pictures of the children of the camp from before. he was commenting on what happened that day the pictures were taken and who hew liked and didnt. i didnt pay much attention because if i did, it would have been so overly obvious that i was looking just to see him. but i did look to see him point at one girl and say "she bugged the crap out of me".
after that was lunch. I went into the office to eat with my sister and then came back with my dad (their teacher) to show him off because i thought everyone in the class liked him. i thought it would give tommy some excuse to tlak to me. bt he
didnt react. everyone else did though. they all shouted "mr diaz" and ya. AFTER THAT was the water party. I was in my big pajama shirt and board shorts and flip flops. i didnt actually get wet though. that was the ultimate door to conversation
between us. i was working the hose there for sitting down next to the faucet. tommy sat on the bech directly in front of me. he didnt say anytihng at first. the he turned to me "hey gaby, how cum' u dont want to get wet?" "i just dont" i
replied even though i was thinking in my head that it was because i look ugly when im wet. he then told me that that wasnt much of an answer. i smiled and kind of laughed and so did he. we paused looking at each other for a moment then he got up
and walked toward me. stuck out his hand and said 'im tommy by the way". my mind raced for something to say. i no? id tell u my name but you obviously already no it? it took to long for me to think of anything so i didnt say anything at all. i
just smirked and looked at him in his dark brown eyes. his hand was cold and wet from helping set up the slip n' slide. from then on he ran down the slip n' slide and flashed me a look as he got to the end to see if i was watching. i always
was. he had gotten a bucket filled with water and was walking past me;. he had already made it clear that he was going to try and get me wet.as he was passing me, he stopped and so did his friends behind him, confused. he looked at me with
a huge smile and said "what would u do if i poured this on you?" i just smiled and looked at him with a like you wouldnt type look. i didnt say anything for a while. but we were just looking at each other. i hadnt noticed that it was that long
a pause. he asked again and i said i wasnt entirely sure wat id do. the whole while i was imagining hm pour it on me. i would spring up in my mind chase him down the school the two of us laughing the whole while. then i would tackle him in
the grass and land on top of him roll him over and sit on his stomach witha big smile on my face and him cracking up and id bend down real close to his face and say that's wat id do. i also imagined me saying let's see. but i didnt. i just told
him i dont know wat id do. we both had stupidly huge smiles on our faces when he said "i dont know for some reason im really scared to. i dont know wat she'd do :)" that surprised me because the w=boys at my school were automatically
scared of me too. i thought i t was cool. later he got some ice and was eating it was sat next to me and this little girl...alyssa? i think? and put ice down her shirt. she started laughing and so did we. he then tried to put it down mine, but i wouldnt let him. again, the whole time we had weirdly big smiles on our faces...or maybe just me...
anyway after that we had sundaes and he was talking to his friends telling them all these electronics he had and it seemed as though he tried to say it right when i was in hearing range. he also tried really hard to make me laugh with his friend
Jorge by singing the cucarache. it worked. he then got really close to me and was saying something. i dont remember wat. i noticed he kindof had a little mustache wich i thought was funny because apparently mexican dudes get mustaches early on.
he then asked if i was twelve and at the time i was so i said yes and he said alright! and hi fived me so i took it as he was 12 too.
after that we walked to the feild on the other side of the school. i delibratley walked slow to see if i could walk with tommy. i heard one of the other little girls say tommy! tommy! tommy! (he was ignoring her) will you give me a piggy back
ride? he said no after like 5 times. i noticed he was really rude to other people except his friends, me and adults. he then walked next to me and started asking about my dad. he called him a bad word. apparently not everyone likes my dad like
i thought. then it was after and i was waiting in my dads office and he was doing things for ms geri so he kept coming in and he would talk to me and make me laugh and one time he tried to scare me. it didnt work but he kept saying "youwanna
laughyouwannalaughyouwannalaughyouwannalaughyouwannalaugh..." and eventually i did he siad yes and ran out. he was so close to me. so close. i wanted to kiss him. but no matter how sure i was that he liked me i couldnt. it would be to weird. so i didnt.
later james asked if i liked anyone and i told him tommmy. when he said why, itold him because he was sweet (to me, i thpought), funny and honestly, hot. he got mad that i calle dsomeone hot because i never called him that. he asked me if he would ever here me say that a again and i sent back haha prob not sorry.
I think i like tommy, and i really hope he likes me. i want him to ask me out so badly. James still constantly asks me if ive had my first kiss yet. he thinks anyone 13yrs old needs to have kissed someone already.
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